Non Negotiables

Hello lovelies!


Now that I'm settling in as Mrs. G I have reflected on things from our relationship, especially the 2.5 years we spent as an engaged couple-- I know, longest.engagement.ever. You're telling me! It seemed like forever and when our wedding day finally came, it didn't seem real!

A photo from the day we got engaged-- look at my short hair!

One thing that I really cherish is the strong foundation we set for ourselves. Early into our engagement, we attended an Engaged, or, premarital class at our church. It was phenomenal. We covered so many things that I consider to be incredibly helpful, but there are a few things that I really took from the experience.

"NON NEGOTIABLES"

Things that are essential to your relationship, key factors, values, and habits that you'd like to instill or avoid.

These NN (non negotiables) are one of the most valuable things that I took from our time spent in the engaged course. We spent a good deal of time composing our list, they're personal to every couple and they serve to be a great reminder of some of your core values. And, y'all, these are not to be used as a rule book, you don't use them against your spouse- for example, one would never say "Well you broke non negotiable #4, blah blah blah." NO NO NO. 

The NN remind me of the things I need to strive for. We have both spent some time thinking about the couple we want to be, and I believe these are helpful in growing us in love. It's easy to get lazy and to let our selfish and sinful nature take over, but these give you a good pinch of reality and remind you that in a marriage, you must be intentional. 

Our NN are so very special to us, we even decided to display them at our wedding, and we will also be displaying them in our home!

My sweet hubby framed our non negotiables and had them placed next to our guest book. Love that man.

With all of that being said, I will gladly share ours with you! I encourage you to make a list with your partner as well!

Laurel and Michael's Non Negotiables:

1. We will invest in the other person's interest

2. We will not prevent our loved one from being a part of what he or she enjoys

3. We will ask and not order, "will you" rather than "do this"

4. We will keep conversations in the same room (face to face)

5. We will strive to keep our promises, and to make promises that we can keep

6. We will avoid joking at the other's expense

7. We will stick to a set budget and will not buy something that we cannot afford

8. We will strive to plan a weekly "family fun day" or date night

9. We will put a limit on our phones or other electronics and surrender phones during meal times

10. We will not put ourselves in compromising positions with members of the opposite sex

11. We will be a part of, and serve in the same ministry

12. We will read at least one relationship/marriage book together each year

13. We will strive to make and attend routine medical appointments (dentist, optometrist, yearly physicals)

14. We will try to acknowledge and express notice or appreciation of at least one positive character quality a day

15. We will strive to recognize each other's struggles and exhort them by looking for a scriptural passage of relevance or encouragement

16. We will NEVER use the "D-Word" (divorce) in respect to our own relationship

17. We will strive to avoid correcting the other in public, or in front of others

18. We will strive to resolve conflicts privately, avoiding outside party influence. If resolution cannot be met, we will seek outside council that is agreed upon.

19. We will put our family's needs above others

20. We will communicate our schedules and put appointments on an updated calendar

21. We will strive to pray and do a devotional together every day

22. We will work to remember that the other is a gift from God, not just a token (Proverbs 19:14)

23. We will not bring up past arguments, unless used in a positive example.

So maybe they're a little long, and yours don't have to be this detailed, but they really are great. I can say that after reading over them again I can see so many that I have "broken" or failed to execute-- that doesn't matter. Again, these aren't a rule book but rather a steady guide and gentle reminder of some of the promises you've made to one another. 

Later I will be sharing about our FIGHT RULES! 

Thanks for stopping by! 

Xx,

LG