Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Things I Suffer From: Doubt

Hey y'all!

I hope that everyone is having a wonderful weekend so far!

Today I really want to share something with y'all and I think it applies to just about everyone. It's about doubt. I am the queen of doubt, I doubt myself, my friends, and worst of all, God. Yeah, I know, I doubt God.

I've been spending much more time reading my bible, friends, I can feel something great in the works. Though the more I read the more I see that other characters in the bible are also perpetual doubters as well.

Take Abraham for example: God had told him that he would have his very own son, one to be his heir. But what did Abraham do? He doubted, grew impatient, and had a son with Hagar. Yes, he had a son, but not the one he was intended to have.

The more I examine this, the more I see that I am just like Abraham. I doubt, and I try to sell God on my plan, instead of trusting in His. Lately I've been struggling with my future and the uncertainty of everything, especially medical school, I'm putting all of my eggs into one basket and it's utterly terrifying. I know that being a doctor is what I am called to do, God has laid this so heavily on my heart that I almost feel burdened sometimes. But here's a fun fact, getting into medical school is hard, like, wicked hard- 94% of first time applicants get denied, those aren't such good odds. So many times I find myself thinking of ways that I can find a different career, or thinking of a different plan for my life, and so often I can feel myself wrestling with God, trying to play "let's make a deal" instead of just trusting that God will make a way for me.

How do you cope with anxiety and doubt? What would it look like for us to just completely trust God?




  1. Oh, friend. I know how you feel...just read this exact thing with Sarai in She Reads Truth. I too grow too anxious of the future and forget that God has this in control. I will pray for you to calm and fully rely on Christ, and I ask you do this too! While it may be hard, we can pray for one another to help a sister out. :)

    1. Thank you so much!! The encouragement is much needed sometimes, I will definitely be praying for you as well!! :)

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  3. Albeit this post was awhile ago - but I have a couple thoughts. It is one thing to doubt that there is a plan for you, and simply another to not recognize a path that is being laid for you. I am not quite sure what you mean by putting all your eggs in one basket in terms of the number of schools you are applying for or what, but I think you are staring at a tree and not seeing the forest. The plan that you hope God has for you is that you are going to medical school. So you pursue that path best you can, but not be nearsighted enough to not see that there is more than one school, and more than one route to get to where you are going. If you think that cultivating as many options as you can is doubting God's path, I would be inclined to politely disagree, and here is why: The nature of life is to learn as much as we can, and find a path that is fulfilling in all ways, spiritually being one of them. With the gift of free will, saying that there is only one right path seems like it would be frustrating. There is one right path for you, and it will come in the form of the choices you make, and is entirely separate from anything that can be tangibly quantified or qualified by this world; it is unlike any other person's individual journey. I would not worry about whether you are on the right path, my dear. If you get caught in logistics, I give you this advice (which was something that Night Vale posted) "Don't let numbers tell you what to do, you are blood and earth, not theory and chalk."